RANSVESTIA

told the girls we were in the show. I had excused myself an hour before to "get the entertainment going."

The word spread quickly and when I returned for the last time in the formal dress segment, I was greeted with a round of applause and satirical whistles and cat calls from the men-most of whom were good friends. This dress too was a size 20. It was just beyond ankle length in a navy and white leaf print, scooped neck and sleeveless. "For cool summer nights," we had dressed it up with white evening gloves (to cover hairy arms) and a black French lace stole wrapped across my chest and over one shoulder to start with. After my first stop and turn I let it fall to just across my shoulders and draped over both arms-a movement which had taken no little practice.

Again a resounding success. One of the club waitresses came up to me at the bar, where I was restoring my courage, and asked me if I was the man who had worn the navy and white formal-she had seen me coming down the stairs and one of the men had pointed me out to her after I had changed. I said I was, why? She said it was such a beautiful dress and looked so lovely on me she wondered where she could buy one like it. I thanked her for what "I'm sure you mean as a compliment," but had to tell her the dress was borrowed and not for sale. Wow!

The next few years saw me go through some agonizing times as far as my family (but not my marriage) and my job were concerned. I was under a great deal of pressure continually. My church was asking me to take on more responsibility, and I was counselling three relatives through difficult times in their lives. My job had reached a dead end and was becoming a serious drain instead of the pleasure it had been for many years. There was problems with my son at school now recti- fied by special schooling. I didn't know how long I could stand the pressure.

I had one escape that was total in every respect and satisfying beyond belief-my transvestism. Yet without my wife knowing, I couldn't indulge it except at the longest intervals. I was beginning to become a nervous wreck. This situation too was adding more pressure and if I could get it out in the open one of my heaviest burdens would be relieved. I'm also convinced I was going through the male mid-life crisis. Call it male menopause if you like; there are a large number of similarities. It was time to take stock. I mentally made a list of all of

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